21 August 2014
I've always been living by this quote by Gossip Girls, for the past years. It stated "They say the universe has a great sense of humor. That sometimes having your dreams come true can feel like a nightmare. Because getting what you want always come with strings attached."
I quitted my first Full Time job in RWS, and I have never felt this freedom as long as I can remember. I've had too much time to spare, been sleeping too much, watching tv too much and catching up with my dramas, that has been due since late last year. I guess I'm not ready to commit myself into the working world. I still want to stay in my room all day and just do nothing.
I wanna spend my time, travelling around again. Do nothing and just travel. Explore and make new adventures. I still want to strut down New York in my flip flops and climb the Eiffel Tower (even though I've been there twice, and still couldn't get up to that freaking tower). And I wanna just live my dream, staying in some foreign country and just be myself, without people judging about you.
I sometimes dream that I could wake up in a pile of money, so at least I can just go around and just pamper myself, like how I deserve it. I didn't to waste on my dream just like that. I still want to do all those things, like how I've been dreaming about it since forever. I just want to live in the moment, and forget about everything else.
But this is all just a wish. A wish that will never come true. Unless I have a Fairy Godmother :D
Love,
Nadine
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18 August 2014
Life hasn’t felt so blissful until someone came into my life, and put everything back in place. I guess being wild and crazy gave me a taste of life, and I pretty much had enough of it. It’s totally about time. I am living a simple life that I had yearned for all this time.
I learned a lot of things while I was in the hype phase of life. I met the strangest weird people who pulled me in the weirdest situations. I never understood feelings because I thought they were merely games. But loving Amir felt so true, because of all the things he would do and fight for me.
When you stop doing things you used to do back then before you actually met the one, don’t do it because he/she told you not to. I dislike being told what to do, and what not to do. It appears like I am a robot to them and they ordering me around. I am sure many of you feel the exact way. Things should stop because it comes from beneath your heart and level of maturity. We aren’t little kids anymore, some times we have to think about what might happen next and the consequences that we bear in future. The little actions that we are doing right now determines the courses of life situations that we will put ourselves into. I used to be very selfish, and my life was all about competition. But at the end of the day, the winner might just end up losing her pride.
Amir helped me discovered a part of me that I never knew I had. And at this very moment, I truly thank god for everything that he have given to me. I am so grateful for the kind of love we possess right now.
There will still be a number of people who have a lot of things to say about us, but looking at how much strength I had left with to deal with the world, it ain’t worth two cents.
I am not here to write a magical fantastical love story. But then again, every love stories that ever happened are somewhat magical in their own way. This is my story, my share. Cheers to a simple life!
Love,
Nadine
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I'm ready to be the girl I need to be
The one who never cried
Never get mad about dumb things and
The one girl who would never worry about being in love
As we grow up, we learn that even that one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and that's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too so remember how it felt when yours were broken.
You fight with your best friends.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing so fast & you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So, take too many pics, laugh too much and love like you never been hurt, because every 60 seconds you spent upset, is a minute that you wasted not being happy.
Love,
Nadine
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17 August 2014
Have you ever been deeply in love with someone, while you are actually in a relationship with another person? Well, I have.
But the fact that I wasn't guilty at all, it makes it a whole new story for it. Not that I am heartless whatsoever, but its like the love that we used to have abt 3 years ago, wasn't there anymore. We were too busy with our own life that I just find that I'm like living alone all over again.
Yes, the relationship before 12th was a sucky one, but then again, at least I didnt really feel alone in a relationship. Yes, it has been a roller coaster ride for us, for the 3 years that we have been together, but I gotta admit it, you made me who I am today. I wasn't the whiny girl anymore. I am able to be independent, in almost everything. I could just smile, just thinking of how you turned me into a lady I am today.
Aside to the fact that loneliness was a friend of mine during our relationship, I still think that deep down inside you are sucha good friend. Always there when I need someone to talk to. I feel very comfortable talking to you, as your opinions are not biased and tell me honestly whats my mistakes if there is any. I really thank you for that honesty.
I have some nights, just dreaming about what we used to have before. I have to admit it, yes I missed you. Everything that I do, somehow reminds me of you. But, what can I do? I can't undo whatever that has happened, right? Sometimes, some of the nights, I'd cry alone, thinking how inhumane of me
me, treating someone so badly. That's definitely not me. I feel that I'm being selfish to my other half. But I just can't bear to see his disappointment if I told him this.
So all I can do now is just deal with whatever I have, and just continue with our life. If we were meant to cross paths again, then that.. We'll just leave it to Allah to decide for us, and insya Allah it's for the best for us.
Im starting my 2014 afresh. I met the guy that is able to be there for me, and always trying to make me feel happy. Even though I think that we kinda rushed into a relationship, I can see him putting in effort to love me more than he love himself, and try to make me forget abt mt past love, even though honestly speaking, its very hard. But as long as Im trying to get over him and he's trying not to give up on me, I think we could get through this together. Hopefully this will be a meaningful and fruitful year for me and for Amir. Amin.
Love,
Nadine
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03 October 2012
With a passionate heart, and two shy hands
At first, it’s the same for everyone
In one look, when your whole heart has been taken away
That’s the beginning of your love story
While watching your always wandering presence by my side
Without knowing it, my heart starts to beat with a thump thump
Just maybe, would that person return my feelings as well?
Would he like me, should I try opening my heart this once
Though I thought of it, thinking I was getting too far ahead of myself
Or that my heart/feelings alone would be discovered which could end everything
Due to my useless pride
Playing hard to get, and refusing you lightly here and there
I wonder if you’ve come to dislike this kind of me
Though I knew, acting like I didn’t,
Though I liked you, I acted like I didn’t
Don’t pull this relationship back and forth in a hurry
Love means approaching them first
As much as you wish to
Love you save up , isn’t love at all
It’s something that replenishes itself to however much of it is given
Even more painful than breakup,
Is carrying for a lifetime ,the heart you couldn’t give away completely
Recently, the relationship between him and I
Feels like we’ve grown far apart, it’s not like the way it was before
I’m talking about our love
It must have been due to greediness, it must have been my fault
Whether it’s because our love has become so big that I’m struggling
Or I because I keep doubting him
What do I need to do so that, again like long ago
We could return to the way things were in the beginning
With an embittering love and a scarred heart
Trying to believe even this once is hard
Love means showing your heart before
Trying to put it in words
Love you save up , isn’t love at all
It’s something that replenishes itself to however much of it is given
Even more painful than breakup,
Is carrying for a lifetime ,the heart you couldn’t give away completely
Yesterday, I gave that girl a call
Since I wanted us to start over anew again
To resolve all the misunderstandings we’ve had carried thus far
To tell each other what we had wanted to say all along
And to also apologize and say I love you
That there’s only you for me, to trust in me
Again, to the way things were before
To when we were happy, that we should return together
For love, there’s no need for irrelevant and meaningless
The solution lies in taking it step by step together
More important than the words I love you
Is trusting each other like we did since the very beginning
Do you know that?
You are my everything and I love you
Love,
Nadine
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06 August 2012
Take me away – I look at my wristwatch
Just as always, a long silence finds me
The approaching train passes me by
I live with the belief that the next one will come when this one passes
If I opened my eyes for half the day,
I am walking alone like yesterday
That’s not a big deal – I’m scared of meeting you
As I’m walking alone through the memories
Are you hurting as much as me?
Can’t you look back at me first?
I’m standing opposite of you but I’m not over you
The shadow walking ahead of me beckons me
That narrow street corner takes me there (I follow it)
I still cleary see the two people standing there
Anyone can see that they’re so beautiful, they look pretty happy
If only I can turn back time
I wouldn’t have divided our memories or walked the other way
I’m not over you
You’re not by my side but you’re still in me
The skies are clear again today but rain falls in my eyes
The memories are so sad
They remind me that it’s not now but it’s the pastLabels: Not over you
Love,
Nadine
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You’re only getting farther you’re the only one
As much as I loved you, you’re the only one
It hurts and hurts and it’s foolish but good bye
Though I may never see you again, you’re the only one
We awkwardly sit across each other,
Making small talk and asking what’s new
The moments when the conversation stop for a moment
The cold silence freezes us
We will become strangers at this place right now
Someone will shed tears and be left alone but
I hate seeing you try not to scar me and feel ill at ease
So I’ll let you go
My love, good bye now, you’re the only one (you’re the only one)
Even at the moment we break up, you’re the only one
It hurts and hurts and it’s foolish but good bye
Though I may never see you again, you’re the only one
At my sudden works, you seem to be relieved for some reason
Where did we go wrong?
Did we hope for different places starting from long ago?
The sharpness of the vast difference of our start and end
And the pain that stabs my heart, why is it so similar?
My overwhelmed heart crumbles emptily in just one moment
How can I stand up again?
When will my head erase you?
One day, two days, one month, if long term then a few years
And someday in your memories,
I won’t live in it, you will erase meLabels: Only One
Love,
Nadine
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Only be good to me
Only always smile at me
I’m still scared of love
So make me trust you
Don’t make me jealous
Don’t make me become obsessed
All day, I keep thinking about you
All day, I just stare at my phone that’s not ringing
Why don’t you know my heart being like this yet?
I still don’t know your heart either
At thoughts of you, I can’t go to sleep at night
I think of you with the moonlight
and I confess my heart
Why don’t you know my heart being like this yet?
I still don’t know your heart either
Look at me now
Look at my heart
It’s burning like this
Please hold onto me right now
Before it’s too late
Don’t stop the love song
I will sing for handsome you every day
I say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Don’t stop the love dance
I want to spend this night with you
I say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Look at my heart
It’s burning like this
Please hold onto me right now
Before it’s too late
We can’t go wrong, bring it back
Don’t play the cat-and-mouse game with me
Let’s become a bit more honest
I’m curious where you are and what you’re doing
Are you annoyed by me being like this?
Don't make me jealous
Don’t make be become obsessed
I love you everyday
Don’t get away
Take me away
I love you everyday
In everyway
I love you
Why don’t you know my heart being like this yet?
I still don’t know your heart either
Love,
Nadine
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