21 August 2014
I've always been living by this quote by Gossip Girls, for the past years. It stated "They say the universe has a great sense of humor. That sometimes having your dreams come true can feel like a nightmare. Because getting what you want always come with strings attached."
I quitted my first Full Time job in RWS, and I have never felt this freedom as long as I can remember. I've had too much time to spare, been sleeping too much, watching tv too much and catching up with my dramas, that has been due since late last year. I guess I'm not ready to commit myself into the working world. I still want to stay in my room all day and just do nothing.
I wanna spend my time, travelling around again. Do nothing and just travel. Explore and make new adventures. I still want to strut down New York in my flip flops and climb the Eiffel Tower (even though I've been there twice, and still couldn't get up to that freaking tower). And I wanna just live my dream, staying in some foreign country and just be myself, without people judging about you.
I sometimes dream that I could wake up in a pile of money, so at least I can just go around and just pamper myself, like how I deserve it. I didn't to waste on my dream just like that. I still want to do all those things, like how I've been dreaming about it since forever. I just want to live in the moment, and forget about everything else.
But this is all just a wish. A wish that will never come true. Unless I have a Fairy Godmother :D
Love,
Nadine
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18 August 2014
Life hasn’t felt so blissful until someone came into my life, and put everything back in place. I guess being wild and crazy gave me a taste of life, and I pretty much had enough of it. It’s totally about time. I am living a simple life that I had yearned for all this time.
I learned a lot of things while I was in the hype phase of life. I met the strangest weird people who pulled me in the weirdest situations. I never understood feelings because I thought they were merely games. But loving Amir felt so true, because of all the things he would do and fight for me.
When you stop doing things you used to do back then before you actually met the one, don’t do it because he/she told you not to. I dislike being told what to do, and what not to do. It appears like I am a robot to them and they ordering me around. I am sure many of you feel the exact way. Things should stop because it comes from beneath your heart and level of maturity. We aren’t little kids anymore, some times we have to think about what might happen next and the consequences that we bear in future. The little actions that we are doing right now determines the courses of life situations that we will put ourselves into. I used to be very selfish, and my life was all about competition. But at the end of the day, the winner might just end up losing her pride.
Amir helped me discovered a part of me that I never knew I had. And at this very moment, I truly thank god for everything that he have given to me. I am so grateful for the kind of love we possess right now.
There will still be a number of people who have a lot of things to say about us, but looking at how much strength I had left with to deal with the world, it ain’t worth two cents.
I am not here to write a magical fantastical love story. But then again, every love stories that ever happened are somewhat magical in their own way. This is my story, my share. Cheers to a simple life!
Love,
Nadine
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I'm ready to be the girl I need to be
The one who never cried
Never get mad about dumb things and
The one girl who would never worry about being in love
As we grow up, we learn that even that one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and that's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too so remember how it felt when yours were broken.
You fight with your best friends.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing so fast & you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So, take too many pics, laugh too much and love like you never been hurt, because every 60 seconds you spent upset, is a minute that you wasted not being happy.
Love,
Nadine
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17 August 2014
Have you ever been deeply in love with someone, while you are actually in a relationship with another person? Well, I have.
But the fact that I wasn't guilty at all, it makes it a whole new story for it. Not that I am heartless whatsoever, but its like the love that we used to have abt 3 years ago, wasn't there anymore. We were too busy with our own life that I just find that I'm like living alone all over again.
Yes, the relationship before 12th was a sucky one, but then again, at least I didnt really feel alone in a relationship. Yes, it has been a roller coaster ride for us, for the 3 years that we have been together, but I gotta admit it, you made me who I am today. I wasn't the whiny girl anymore. I am able to be independent, in almost everything. I could just smile, just thinking of how you turned me into a lady I am today.
Aside to the fact that loneliness was a friend of mine during our relationship, I still think that deep down inside you are sucha good friend. Always there when I need someone to talk to. I feel very comfortable talking to you, as your opinions are not biased and tell me honestly whats my mistakes if there is any. I really thank you for that honesty.
I have some nights, just dreaming about what we used to have before. I have to admit it, yes I missed you. Everything that I do, somehow reminds me of you. But, what can I do? I can't undo whatever that has happened, right? Sometimes, some of the nights, I'd cry alone, thinking how inhumane of me
me, treating someone so badly. That's definitely not me. I feel that I'm being selfish to my other half. But I just can't bear to see his disappointment if I told him this.
So all I can do now is just deal with whatever I have, and just continue with our life. If we were meant to cross paths again, then that.. We'll just leave it to Allah to decide for us, and insya Allah it's for the best for us.
Im starting my 2014 afresh. I met the guy that is able to be there for me, and always trying to make me feel happy. Even though I think that we kinda rushed into a relationship, I can see him putting in effort to love me more than he love himself, and try to make me forget abt mt past love, even though honestly speaking, its very hard. But as long as Im trying to get over him and he's trying not to give up on me, I think we could get through this together. Hopefully this will be a meaningful and fruitful year for me and for Amir. Amin.
Love,
Nadine
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