Once upon a time

17 August 2014

Have you ever been deeply in love with someone, while you are actually in a relationship with another person? Well, I have.

But the fact that I wasn't guilty at all, it makes it a whole new story for it. Not that I am heartless whatsoever, but its like the love that we used to have abt 3 years ago, wasn't there anymore. We were too busy with our own life that I just find that I'm like living alone all over again.

Yes, the relationship before 12th was a sucky one, but then again, at least I didnt really feel alone in a relationship. Yes, it has been a roller coaster ride for us, for the 3 years that we have been together, but I gotta admit it, you made me who I am today. I wasn't the whiny girl anymore. I am able to be independent, in almost everything. I could just smile, just thinking of how you turned me into a lady I am today.

Aside to the fact that loneliness was a friend of mine during our relationship, I still think that deep down inside you are sucha good friend. Always there when I need someone to talk to. I feel very comfortable talking to you, as your opinions are not biased and tell me honestly whats my mistakes if there is any. I really thank you for that honesty.

I have some nights, just dreaming about what we used to have before. I have to admit it, yes I missed you. Everything that I do, somehow reminds me of you. But, what can I do? I can't undo whatever that has happened, right? Sometimes, some of the nights, I'd cry alone, thinking how inhumane of me
me, treating someone so badly. That's definitely not me. I feel that I'm being selfish to my other half. But I just can't bear to see his disappointment if I told him this.

So all I can do now is just deal with whatever I have, and just continue with our life. If we were meant to cross paths again, then that.. We'll just leave it to Allah to decide for us, and insya Allah it's for the best for us.

Im starting my 2014 afresh. I met the guy that is able to be there for me, and always trying to make me feel happy. Even though I think that we kinda rushed into a relationship, I can see him putting in effort to love me more than he love himself, and try to make me forget abt mt past love, even though honestly speaking, its very hard. But as long as Im trying to get over him and he's trying not to give up on me, I think we could get through this together. Hopefully this will be a meaningful and fruitful year for me and for Amir. Amin.

Love,
Nadine

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